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10 Minor Annoyances at USC
Written by Lloyd Copper / Published on 22 July 2016

Hey, my name is Lloyd and I have a confession: I’m grumpy. Not all the time. But like, a lot of the time. Don’t get me wrong, life is a blessing and all that, but you don’t want to read about that. You want to read about things that get on my nerves. Because maybe they get on yours too. Here’s a top ten list of minor irritancies, in a university context, that will probably one day wind up giving me a massive heart attack.

  1. People who enter the lecture theatre first and then sit right on the edge of the seat. You know that just makes it awkward for everyone else to have to squeeze past you right? Move into the middle or wait until the end so you can get a seat on the end.
  2. People that stand and talk in the middle of the path. Obviously this can be applied outside of university. But don’t tell me how to write my articles and I won’t tell you how to write yours. We are blessed with a shitload of grass. Take your conversation there and leave the walkways to the walkers.
  3. Guys that aren’t toilet trained. I can’t speak for the women, but I know that it’s been on more than one occasion that I’ve been washing my hands and I’ve seen a guy go past me from a cubicle without washing his hands. Gross. Also guys, aim for the bowl. It’s not that hard!
  4. School kids who clog up the brasserie. NO. Get out. I don’t care where you go, but get out of our university. 
  5. And stay out of the gym! It’s small enough as it is without you guys strutting around in there taking up the machines of students. Plus your metabolism works a lot better than mine and that pisses me off.
  6. Birds. You have the whole sky and yet those annoying little robins seem to take some sort of perverse pleasure out of swooping me. You know you have the whole sky right? Bugger off!
  7. People who walk looking down at their phones and nearly walk into you. Stop. Move off to the side. Sit down. I don’t care. Get out of my way or expect and unapologetic shoulder nudge.
  8. People who come in late to tutes. Ok, I get it. We all have stuff on. I have done this myself before. But it is disruptive and I hang my head in shame when I do it. This is the only occasion by the way in which you are not allowed to be annoyed at the person committing the atrocity in point #1. 
  9. People who leave their stuff at the computers in the library then go and talk to someone for fifteen minutes. I knew a guy who had the audacity to go home to the Village and have lunch and then came back to the computer. The scandal!
  10. People who complain all the time…wait…